Journal Task 5: Fragile Little Shield

Quiet, Shy, locked away in their own little world. Will only make contact with the outside world if they were forced. They get home from school, will throw their phone in the corner of their room, and will sulk in the other corner because they find the outside world as a battlefield, where every text message and every comment on social media is a mine, waiting to go off. They will refuse to have dinner with their family because they’re afraid they will judge them. They will wait until everyone has gone to sleep to eat their ice-cold food in the dark because the darkness is their only companion.

Their shield is up and fragile.

They go to school the next day with the all the confidence in the world. No one could possibly fault them. They will make conversations with the most popular kids in school and won’t care if they take a shot at them for doing something out of the ordinary. They will head in to class and will confidently answer all the questions without the fear of getting one wrong and make a fool of themselves. They will volunteer for practically anything.

And they do all this keep the focus off the alter ego. They act like they are loud and outgoing so that no one questions their other side. While trying to keep up this act, they stress themselves so much that they then think that life isn’t worth it when you are trying to be two different people. On top of all this, they try to make sure that their parents don’t find out about the extreme measures that they have to take to fit in in this harsh world. And there decisions can’t be rational decisions because one rational decision could create some suspicion. And once that suspicion has been created they think that they will be analysed by everyone that surrounds them.

But why should they live like this. For crying out loud they are all individuals with their own rights. But they get scrutinised and criticised by everyone who think that they are individuals but are actually a flock of sheep looking for the greenest piece of grass. Who cares if they are different from you? Doesn’t mean you can treat them like outcasts. Because what you are doing is judging a book by its cover. It’s only when you start to flick through the pages, you then find the beauty of who they really are. Or you start flicking through the pages and find out that the person that you probably thought you could depend on, or someone you thought could be your eternal soul mate, is actually heartless pieces of trash.

In fact who cares what other people think. The way they’re going, they are going to be followers for the rest of their lives. While those are being protected by their fragile shields, are going to be the ones who change the world. (Unless you be a coward behind your little shield and decide that you couldn’t care less about anything. Then you aren’t going to do a lot in the future but we won’t dwell on those little things).

One thought on “Journal Task 5: Fragile Little Shield

  1. Interesting thoughts. I like your character voice – it’d be interesting to hear more from them. Good work!

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