Journal Task #5: Do We Really Know Who She Is?

Is she really that happy in life? Is she truly confident about herself? Is she seriously that brave? What about that smile, is that smile fake or is it actually meaningful? Well I mean that’s how I see her, that’s how we all see her. Do we really know who she is? She’s hilarious and loved by everyone at school; in fact she gets along with anyone and everyone. She’s school captain, a part of the cheerleader squad, she gets high results in nearly all her exams, she gets along with all the teachers, she’s a part of many school activities and programs but still, do we really know who she is? She’s got the right attitude towards situations, and a caring personality that would heal a broken heart. Her appearance is one that is in every girls wish and every guys dream. When she has suddenly come face to face to a challenge that made her look quite like a fool, she would initiate a laugh or make a joke out of it. Her smile and laugh is contagious, when she would start to laugh it would spread as easily as flu.

Except behind closed doors at home, she’s a new girl. She’s someone else, someone different. It’s like she’s an undercover detective or she’s wearing a mysterious mask. It can even be a delicate shield that she’s struggling to hold, that covers all her imperfections and weaknesses. The shield stands over her; she’s becoming weaker and weaker holding the heavy shield. She acts strong and brave as it stands over her, believing that it’s not going to reveal anything about the other side of her, the dark side of her. She remains confident, outgoing, happy and stress-free. Although piece by piece the delicate shield is breaking apart, revealing something about her that I start to notice, that we all start to notice. Do we really know who she is?

The only time she uncovers the mask and knocks over the shield is at home. Huffing and puffing, she’s unable to stand up and with a straight posture. She is unable to keep on going like this, hiding the real her. She is unable to continue on. Once the delicate shield is removed she feels relieved and free, she feels herself; her real self.  Although at home is where the gates are shut, slammed closed. She is in the fighting/boxing ring. She’s not prepared, never is. She is unable to escape out of the boxing ring. She has no protection; no boxing gloves, no head-gear, no mouth-guard and definitely not her shield.  She is here fighting against her greatest enemy and her greatest fear, she’s innocent and scared. All she wants is for society, the referee, to lift her hand up and yell out it’s over… you’ve won!

Each punch is more painful than the previous and each kick is continuing on to degrade her. The pain is excruciating. The agonizing comments getting spat on her face is making her feel useless.

The delicate shield is no longer protecting her. Each day at school I start to notice. She seems suspicious.

“Hey, what happened to your eye? You’ve got a bruise. Are you okay?” I say.

“Yeah, of course I am. I accidently got hit in the face at cheerleading practise. Hahaha, I’m okay, thanks though!” Is what she would say.

Except I know, I truly know that that’s a lie. So what I did was I reached my hand out to her, offered her help. She got a good comfortable grip of my hand, and she finally let out everything. She revealed something I never knew, or I thought would happen to her. Physical abuse at home is what it was. Her parents would make her feel useless and unwanted, by physically abusing her and telling her disrespectful comments. They don’t support her or care for her.

By me helping her get through her battle, I’ve achieved something that feels so great. She now has overcome her fear and pushed aside the people she was against in the battle ring. She was able to experience her dream, the referee lifted up her hand and said you’ve won the fight, it’s all over.

Now we know the real her at school and even out of school. Her tired hand no longer has to suffer from carrying the heavy shield that covered the real her. She no longer wears a mask or is covered by a shield. There is no other side of her. There’s only one side, her bright happy side and that’s all!

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