BEATRICE – What a delight to see the beef-witted toad at this extravagant feast.
BENEDICK – It be a pleasure to bring happiness where I go. Yet I’m surprised a feast extravagant as this had invited such as yourself.
BEATRICE – Well pardon myself for I should not be worthy to bask in the presence of the dizzy-eyed lord. Extravagant as this may be, I am also the niece of the host so, you’d be best to keep comments like those to yourself.
BENEDICK – For the sake of your half-faced reputation, all comments from myself will be kept tight-lipped until the end of the night.
BEATRICE – I beg your pardon signor but of all the half-faced reputations mine should be found the best, with yours strung to the bottom of a step ladder.
BENEDICK – Hah! I am strung to the bottom of a step ladder yet there, is where you should find the fearless lord. Sipping a cup of tea, mocking all above who thinks they’d be ranked higher than I.
BEATRICE – Your tea’d be the waste of the fly-bitten measles above you, much to your delight I’m sure. For who else would be so fearless to drink waste than a lord.
BENEDICK – It be the tea for great war victors my lady.
BEATRICE – Ugh, be gone with your poisonous soul.
BENEDICK – As you wish. Cherish this night my lady for you should be so lucky to take part in such festivities that fly so far over your puny weather-bitten head.