Benedick: I, a handsome young gentleman loved by all, especially the ladies. I avouch that anon you shall see a spark of handsomeness in me, you truly will love me. Thou will be so in love that the whole of Messina will be so afeard. Although I, hath no heart of concrete will truly never love you, a rare creature with a mangled clay-brain.
Beatrice: Pfffffth! What arrant nonsense, this shall never befall! Why art thou so childish? If I was ever to get married I would rip such a man’s face, and ‘twere such a pernicious face as yours were.
Benedick: Do you mark this? I’m seeing something behind your poisonous mouth of lies. Thou art truly envious of me. I, an intelligent gentleman am in every lady’s wish and with my jaw-dropping good looks I’m in every man’s envious dreams.
Beatrice: Cease mumbling on rubbish! You have covered me in thy disgusting saliva, stop spitting! Since thy puny rude-growing maggot, like most other men, hell hath something to learn about laziness.
Benedick: Ha, such that thy speaks deserves to be included in the book of myths. Those who dost tell thou that you art amazing and talented are telling such a lie, this is a sin. ‘Ere thou hast thy nose pointed up high, ‘tis advised that you don’t believe aught people tell you. Wherefore doth a lady like you fall for the words spoken by others? Hence listen to what I tell thou, as oft I’m always correct.
Beatrice: Whence dost thou here such advice. I sense that thou art trying to help me. Love truly did destroy and damage our society, I certainly dost not believe in such affection.
Benedick: Ha, nay!
Beatrice: I truly dost not want to waste anymore of my precious time talking to a tickle-brained man like you.
Benedick: My stomach is in ache of laughter. You better hie off to thy boring life. ‘Twas a strange conversation.
Beatrice: Avaunt, and disappear from my sight. Listening to you or looking at you any longer will make me ill.