Beatrice: Shift aside; his villainous blabber is poisonous.
Benedick: Only a brain as boiled as yours cannot grip mine sense, except I agnize thy flap-mouthed nonsense.
Beatrice: Thou gentlemen art much less than gentle, though how can it be? I forbid any affection towards such infectious hell-hated scuts!
Benedick: Us infectious hell-hated scuts would dare never as to be interlaced with such a whoreson clay-brained mouldwarp. Jokey ’tis to yea believe a male would lay ever his eyes on a puny pigeon-egg.
Beatrice:Ha, jokey thou sense ye are, nobody marks thou. I must tell you friendly in your ear, sell when you can, you are not for all markets.
Benedick: Thy unwashed claptrap won’t penetrate through the heaviest of hearts, like such of mine, thou I worry with a heavy heart towards thy contentment.
Beatrice: Well you shall know I don’t exploit my brain to thoughts of thou.
Benedick: What does thou have against me? Is that envy I sense, of mine fair looks and big brains?
Beatrice: You wouldn’t even make a boar-pig jealous.
Benedick: Oh, don’t hold your head too highly miss – neither would you.
Beatrice: They lie deadly that tell you you have fair looks and big brains.
Benedick: Only you of the entire universe would demolish such honest people. They resemble a strange species to the disdain – surely they are green beasts in your view.
Beatrice: Ha, did thou know I had a thought? Thou are a roguish onion-eyed dog.
Benedick: Thou had a thought? That must have been a long and lonely journey.
Beatrice: Ha, thou thinks your talents would make good use at a circus but you may deter their viewers. My face aches from laughing.
Benedick: It aches less than my painful eyes having laid on a such mangled, rude-growing blind-worm.
Beatrice: Thou irritate all who lay eyes on thou.
Benedick: All who lay eyes on me are blown away by my beauty.
Beatrice: Thou should not lie, a sin it is.
Benedick: More of your conversation would infect my brain.
-written with lilchrissy2000-