Slipping

I am slipping down

Further into that abyss again

The abyss of never feeling good

And always being self conscious

I am slipping down

Pushing back the people that love me

The people that accept my sins

And the ones that try to catch me before I fall

I don’t want to slip

To slip in and out of bad habits

Makes me drunk with fatigue

But you don’t know how easy it is to fall back into old routines

She wasn’t any different

His sins were burned on her youthful arms

She paid for mistakes that weren’t hers

She was a good girl with bad habits

He turned those habits into an addiction and caused her to smoke away her hazy blues

Drilling the idea that her broken heart can be fixed with a duct tape made of pills

Her heart was a lonely hunter that hunted on a lonely hill

The deer paraded onto that empty hill infecting false hopes and expectations

Forcing her to use her good aim blindly

She took him in and taught him to love

But not all students can surpass the master with flying colours

He was a wolf in sheep’s skin

Deceiving her like the cold blooded reptile in hell

She had closed her eyes to the throbbing pain inside her chest but she

Opened her once innocent eyes which are now heavy with bags full of ignored memories

She couldn’t withstand it all

She was slipping beneath

His act to have a stronger grip on her was tremendous

She believed he was trying his best, blinded by what she thought love was

But he eventually let go in the end, just like everyone else did

And her fragile body fell

Fell into the black ocean that housed her sorrowful memories

She felt at home in her miseries, letting herself submerge into their familiar feel

She was back into the darkness

Cascading ripples of heavy sanity filled her lungs until she could no longer breathe

She was slipping further into the darkness

But she had to remember that we are all swimmers momentarily sustained by what will engulf us at the last

Still dreaming of islands though the mainland has been lost

Swept remorselessly out to sea while we spread our arms to the beautiful shore

She had to merge through the black ink and get a grip on those big hands in the sky

Then she would receive her salvation