Bendick&Beatrice : Mock Script

Benedick : I can’t belive that thee could beest such a goatish scut , lest I just so sick of thy whey-face self

Beatrice : I’d rather thee beest dead from the sight of me, then sick. At least I wouldn’t see thy visage every dreary day.

Benedick : if ‘t be true I wast to beest dead, all mine adoring women would miss me

Beatrice : Which women?? The ones, who thee payeth for their time??

Benedick : No, the ones who love me, and misprise thee, thee brazen-faced boar

Beatrice : The ones that love thee, art common kissers, thee art clay-brained to believe that those gents would actually lend thee their heart

Benedick : I would rather spendeth time with those ladies or in hell, then with a mistress like thee

Beatrice : I has’t more things to bethink and worry about then a puttocked hing like yourself, visit, coequal better liveth in hell, so I nev’r see thee again

Benedick : More things to worry about aye, Like thy boney, idle-headed dreary body of yours??

Beatrice : I chuckle as thee describe yourself, Signor Benedick

Benedick : lest I far from insecure, unlike thee, I don’t coat mine body in oils and lotions to feeleth quite quaint

Beatrice : For a matter of fact, I don’t, as I am comfortable with myself, unlike yourself, thee needeth a women’s love to feeleth validated

Benedick : behold at mine visage!! The visage of a solider, who hath no insecuries, no faults thee claim to see

Beatrice : I see the nose of a cruel sir and eyes full of lies, I see nothing but lacking valor in thee

Benedick : if ‘t be true thee see the lacking valor in me, then thee should has’t gone to Specsavers, as other women see the beauty in me, thee blind fool

Beatrice : Those women art naive to believeth the lies thee speaketh, only the blind see thee as a valorous sir

Benedick : Fine, I liveth the bachelor life, with quite quaint women surroundig me day and night

Beatrice : thy petty plan to maketh me jealous is already failing thee fool, leaveth this lodging ere thee maketh me spew on thy robes, no women would wanteth to cometh near thee if ‘t be true so.



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