No More – Journal Task #5

First day of middle school. First day. First day of many years to come. Through the blue gates. On the pathway made for two. Currently used by one. This is how it starts. First day.

First week done.

MARCH 23 –
First term done. I’ve made some friends, I think. They pick on everyone, ”It’s fun”. They think they’re better. They like me though because of what I wear. The clothes are uncomfortable, but I wear them because my “friends” like them. I wear them so I have friends.

JUNE 10 –
First semester done. I’m still sitting with my “friends”. They’re making fun of more people now, some of those people are my friends in the classes that I don’t have with my “friends”, they’re nice. I don’t know why they make fun of them when they aren’t mean or rude. They aren’t mean to me though, they like my clothes. I don’t stop wearing them so I don’t get made fun of. It’s better to blend in and stay quiet so nothing bad happens.

First year done. I can’t stand my friends. They’re so mean to everyone, especially the people I secretly like to talk to when they’re not around. I’m going to spend my holidays with those people, the better people. I like them more, and they don’t care about the clothes I wear.

First day back. I hate it already, these stupid people don’t understand when to stop. I can’t stand it. It’s the first day and they already made someone cry. All they did was laugh and make even more fun. I stopped wearing the clothes they liked so much, they asked me why I wasn’t wearing them and I said “They’re uncomfortable”.

My so called friends keep asking me why I’m not wearing the clothes that they like any more, I’ve stopped answering. I’m very quiet now, I don’t talk to anyone unless they talk to me first. I don’t want to be made fun of.

I’m done. I’m done with being someone I’m not, someone that tries to please everyone else. I want to be happy, I want to sit with people that don’t make fun of others, that don’t care what I wear. Tomorrow I’m going to set things straight.

I feel good now. So good. Great even. I walked straight up to my fake friends and said “I’m sick of the way you treat people, I’m sick of the fact that you only liked my clothes. You make fun of all the people that I think are really nice and friendly, the people that I talk to when you’re all not around. You guys need to stop doing what you’re doing, It’s not right! I’m done with all of you!”

Sitting with my new friends is so much more relaxing. I’ve joined so many clubs, when before I was too scared to get teased. I’m comfortable with the clothes I wear. I enjoy going to school everyday now. I don’t have to hide who I really am. No more.

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