Journal #5 i think…these arent in order anymore. Sorryy

Amnesia

Prologue

“Beth, don’t do this!” Luke screams shakily, tears are running down his bright red face, I try to break free from his grip but I can’t tug my arm away.

“Stop it Luke!….we’re over. I’m going to college and you’re going to become rich and famous and travel the world with your band. We’re just holding each other back. These past couple of years have been fun but it’s time to move on. School is almost over and so is this.”

“What happened Beth…?” he looks at me confused for a few moments “…did you stop loving me or something” the words pierce me right through the heart and I lose it “how dare you Luke…how dare you. I’m doing this because I love you. I love you with all my heart but we can’t keep doing this. I’m just holding you back”

“Goodbye Luke…”

“Beth. Wait. Please!” Luke screams behind me but I just keep walking and don’t look back.

2 years later

“Hurry up Beth!” Macey yells from across the apartment. She’s standing at the door jumping up and down like a firecracker, filled with excitement. “

“Beth hurry we’re going to be late for the concert” Macey says impatiently. I slowly drag my feet across the floor acting like a whinging toddler who doesn’t want to go out. “Do I have to go?” I say dragging out my words slowly and slouched while grabbing my bag and walking out the door. “Come on…” Macey says grabbing my arm and stomping to the car. “You know I’d do the same” I nod knowing how much she’s done for me.

When we get to the arena it’s packed. There are hundreds of screaming fans in large groups everywhere holding posters, wearing handmade shirts and costumes and chanting so loudly I can’t even hear myself think.

Then I look up and see the giant screen plastered with the words 5 seconds pf summer. As soon as I see it I start quickly walking back to the car, “It’s too soon I can’t do it not right now” I think to myself, my mind racing a million miles an hour.

Macey starts running after me screaming “what’s wrong?” she grabs me and I stop.

“I know you don’t like them but seriously come on we’ve already paid.” She says calmly giving me a sympathetic look.

“It’s nothing I’m fine come on lets go.” I plaster a fake grin across my face and walk into the arena.

We take our sits in the very front row almost on the stage; I really didn’t think we were going to be this close.” I’m so excited to see Luke he’s so hot.” Macey doesn’t know about me and Luke and hearing Lukes name like that makes me feel like this was a massive mistake. All of a sudden banging on the drums start and the arena goes crazy, and then four figures appear.

We’re half way through the concert and as English love affair ends, the lights dim and the whole crowd is holding up there phones like candles and I give Macey the ‘Omg are you serious’ face and she just looks at me and gives me a giant grin. When I look back at the stage I almost faint as I see Luke sitting right above me. He looks around the room then looks straight down and our eyes meet. I slightly give him an uncomfortable smile and he just sits there awestruck and mouths B-E-T-H. I just shrug. After a long pause Luke picks up his mic and says ‘this next one is dedicated to the girl who broke my heart ’ the whole crowd aww and the rest of the band looks confused until they all finally see me and Ashton gives me a huge smile. I look back at Luke and he just gives me a cold icy stare. I feel the whole arena is looking at me. Macey must have seen Luke mouth my name or stare at me because when I look over to her, you could see the shock on her face and her jaws wide open she looks as if she’s about to scream or punch me . Michaels starts strumming his guitar and I look back at Luke as he sheds a tear and start to sing “I drove by all the places…”

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