Journal task 1 : Turning

“Aiden, why don’t you understand it? Are you that stupid?”

It only took those words to know that everything is over. I’m not going to be able to make it through this without hurting anyone.

My body starts to tremble and my hands start to shake. It’s happening; the change is happening. My heart begins to race and I start tapping on the table anxiously. For some people, it looked like the first signs of an anxiety attack. For others, like me, they were signs of the turning. Turning into a monster. Turning into a freak.

It’s not my fault that I became like this. Never is, never was. I’m new to all this, meaning I can’t control when and where I change, but when I do know, I have to get out as soon as possible. One thing that always triggers this is when people yell at me. It’s not my fault I don’t understand a mathematic formula to solve questions about shapes. The bell is going to ring soon.

“Come on, you can do it.” I say to myself. I clench my jaw and fists, being careful to hide my unnatural claws from the mortals around me. The clock ticks ever so slowly, my change becoming more and more noticable as each second passes. “I can’t turn again, not after what I did at the last school.”

I try to calm myself down but nothing works. I know I can’t repeat what happened last time. My instincts had taken over and the classroom became a dog’s dinner. That could not happen again.

There’s one minute left. I can feel my temperature continue to rise. I’m close, but I can’t walk out of class now. Sweat trickles down my face and I feel the hairs on my arm stand. Hair slowly starts growing on my body and my vision is becoming less clear. My claws leave holes in my pants, but that’s the least of my worries. My teacher didn’t notice what’s going on, but soon he will, when I finally turn into a wolf.

5 more seconds.

I can’t do this anymore. I’m struggling to hold it all in.

4 more seconds.

The change starts to feel more like an itch that I need to scratch.

3 more seconds.

The desire to go to the forest is taking over and fills me with some sort of ecstasy.

2 more seconds.

The craving for their beating hearts is driving me insane. I start to imagine what it would taste like; a juicy, bloody, young heart.

1 more second.

A growl starts to form in my throat, but I bite it back. I can’t do this. I’m so close.

The bell rings, and I ran as fast as I could out of the classroom. I get to the edge of the forest, leaving the innocent humans behind. I can be free now.

I throw my school bag to the side and change into the creature I long to be. I may be a monster, but I finally belong somewhere; along with the pack, not stuck in some classroom learning things that will mean nothing to me in the future. This is where I belong. But if you can see what I see and feel what I feel, you will agree with me.

Now, what do you say? Let’s go take a howl at the moon.

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